2 years ago, September 30th, 2009 I began track 1 of Fire in the Night Internship here at IHOP-KC. The 6 months that I was here for internship were the most life-changing, heart-transforming months thus far in my life. God has done SO much in my life since Fire in the Night and He begun a lot of it there.
For instance, I was a girl who hated being hugged. I can't even express to you the hatred and coldness in my heart towards being hugged or even touched. I was so hurt and so confused about what love really was. Love was like a bad word to me...because I had been so hurt in the past, I just didn't want to open up my heart to anyone else. My heart was hard and cold and I was running away from God. I thought He was so mean. I couldn't understand or comprehend His love for me. I just was not willing to receive from Him. But, over the next couple weeks and months in the internship I started receiving revelation of Him, I started to receive Him. Eventually, (during inner healing class) I received a hug and as soon as I did, something broke off of me and my heart began to tenderize. The Lord was so patient with me. He never forced anything on me. He waited for me to surrender to Him and give Him 'permission' to work in my life. He waited for me to ask Him for help. He is so good!
.
.
.
Look What the Lord Has Done:
- He healed my food allergies to bananas and nuts
- He healed my pinky when I broke it
- He healed my heart
- He was patient with me
- He was merciful to me
- He gave me grace
- He restored relationships in my life
- He taught me so many things
- He gave me revelation in the knowledge of Him
- He healed my back little by little (and still healing it to this day)
- He never left me or forsook me
- He loves me!
- He put people around me to run with me and fight alongside me
- He fought and fights for me
- He showed me what love looked like
- He showed me that He is my friend!
- He answered the cries of my heart
- He blessed me abundantly
- He is leading me perfetly
- He disciplines me because He loves me
.
.
.
I could go on forever and ever but I just don't have the time right now.
GOD IS SO GOOD!!!! :)
Let Him show you today! Let Him love you! :)
~Emily :)
Friday, September 30, 2011
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Oh for Grace to Trust Him More!
Once again, I am reminded of my weakness and His strength.
Once again, I am reminded and shocked of His mercy and lovingkindness towards me.
Once again, I am made aware of how much I need Him.
Once again, I am made aware that it is only through Him and by Him that all things happen.
Once again, He reminds me so tenderly and lovingly that He is in control.
Once again, He reminds me that He loves me and He loves to be with me.
Once again, I am filled with doubt and insecurity...
but once again, He reminds me that He is living and active and dwelling in me!
...
Oh for GRACE to Trust Him more! If trusting Him is what made me successful, then I would be the least successful of all! But for some reason, He created us just for love! And that is what makes us successful?? Why is He so good? Not that I'm complaining, I am just in awe of this truth! I need to be reminded of how He feels about me over and over and over and over and over! I don't see how it will ever get old! I pray that this revelation and truth hits MANY.......no, ALL hearts today! No one is too old or too young to hear this message. There is NO exceptions to this truth! HE LOVES US ALL!
Now doesn't that just put a smile on your face and warmth in your heart?
God is SO good! :)
...
As long as I keep this truth in the forefront of my heart and mind; and keep getting reminded of it as much as possible, will trusting Him be easier? Or will it at least make me want to trust Him just because I am aware of His goodness towards me? I think yes. Easier....well, maybe not always...but I want to trust Him all my days! I say this in faith and out of desire...I am most definitely not 'there' yet, but I want to be.
Philliapians 4:13 "I can do everything things through Christ who strengthens me!"
That verse cannot be read/written without reading the surrounding verses... I challenge you to read Phillipians 4 (or even the entire book of Phillipians)! I want to have faith and trust like Paul (author of Phillipians).
In verse 12 he says "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want."
I want to be content in any and every situation! (Yet again I pray) : Lord give me grace and help me to trust You more; completely! Amen and amen!
May the Lord bless you all and please tell me of ways/things to pray for you and I would LOVE to partner with you in prayer. I have already received a few prayer requests and I am thrilled to be partnering with fellow brothers and sisters in Christ!
~Emily :)
Once again, I am reminded and shocked of His mercy and lovingkindness towards me.
Once again, I am made aware of how much I need Him.
Once again, I am made aware that it is only through Him and by Him that all things happen.
Once again, He reminds me so tenderly and lovingly that He is in control.
Once again, He reminds me that He loves me and He loves to be with me.
Once again, I am filled with doubt and insecurity...
but once again, He reminds me that He is living and active and dwelling in me!
...
Oh for GRACE to Trust Him more! If trusting Him is what made me successful, then I would be the least successful of all! But for some reason, He created us just for love! And that is what makes us successful?? Why is He so good? Not that I'm complaining, I am just in awe of this truth! I need to be reminded of how He feels about me over and over and over and over and over! I don't see how it will ever get old! I pray that this revelation and truth hits MANY.......no, ALL hearts today! No one is too old or too young to hear this message. There is NO exceptions to this truth! HE LOVES US ALL!
Now doesn't that just put a smile on your face and warmth in your heart?
God is SO good! :)
...
As long as I keep this truth in the forefront of my heart and mind; and keep getting reminded of it as much as possible, will trusting Him be easier? Or will it at least make me want to trust Him just because I am aware of His goodness towards me? I think yes. Easier....well, maybe not always...but I want to trust Him all my days! I say this in faith and out of desire...I am most definitely not 'there' yet, but I want to be.
Philliapians 4:13 "I can do everything things through Christ who strengthens me!"
That verse cannot be read/written without reading the surrounding verses... I challenge you to read Phillipians 4 (or even the entire book of Phillipians)! I want to have faith and trust like Paul (author of Phillipians).
In verse 12 he says "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want."
I want to be content in any and every situation! (Yet again I pray) : Lord give me grace and help me to trust You more; completely! Amen and amen!
May the Lord bless you all and please tell me of ways/things to pray for you and I would LOVE to partner with you in prayer. I have already received a few prayer requests and I am thrilled to be partnering with fellow brothers and sisters in Christ!
May the Lord bless you and keep you.
May the Lord make his face to shine upon you,
and be gracious to you.
and be gracious to you.
May the Lord lift up his countenance upon you,
and give you peace.
and give you peace.
Numbers 6:24-26
~Emily :)
Thursday, September 8, 2011
My Pride and His Merciful Kindness
Wow, this past week has been quite the painful adventure! Last Monday, in a rush to make it on time to a meeting, I slipped and caught my toes in the straps of my flip flops. I had to leave right after the meeting to head home to get my special ‘uni-shoe’ (post-op shoe from a previous broken toe incident). Both feet were hurting but I only had one ‘uni-shoe’. So, for the next few days I was limping around in a lot of pain and receiving tons of prayer. By Friday, I finally decided to go to urgent care (only place that was open) and they x-rayed both feet, only to find a fracture in the least painful toe (one that I had broken a few years ago, hence my possession of a post-op shoe). The doctor was not sure if it was a recent one or older one.
*Toes actually never heal, and so I never got rid of the ‘uni-shoe’ because I never knew if ever I might need it again; am I ever grateful I kept it! The only thing to do with a toe injury (ie: break, fracture, sprain, etc) is to rest it, ice it, elevate it, confine it, and take anti-inflammatory medicine.
After the x-rays, they gave me another ‘uni-shoe’. My old one was a plain, black one with two Velcro straps. My new one is blue and black, with two (easier-to-adjust) Velcro straps and is not as flat on the sole. So now, I walk around with two different color shoes and mismatched socks (which I normally did). I feel like such a trendsetter! So, if ever you come across a person wearing different color/types of shoes and socks, think of me, I started the trend! J
Anyway, after still walking around in a lot of pain and elevating my feet whenever possible, I finally agreed to receive more help by borrowing a wheelchair at the prayer room. I have to admit now after having it for a few days and after being in pain walking around like I was that the wheelchair helps tremendously! It was awkward and a bit embarrassing at first, but now I have come to very much appreciate it and love figuring out how to get around.
Pride has really risen up in me as well throughout this past week. I have to ask for help to do some simple things and it was really annoying having so many people noticing my pain and asking to pray for me. I have always had this fear/anxiety of people thinking I am faking any pain or sickness, so this experience has been humbling, no less. I appreciate the prayer, but the looks of pity drove me nuts. Just today I have gotten breakthrough in my attitude. When I finally surrendered and accepted help, a big burden was lifted off of me. I cannot do this alone; I need to rely on others. God did not create me to be alone, and since that is what I have been feeling since school started, I am actually thanking Him for this little affliction because it has caused me to realize that I am not alone, people are more than willing to help, and pray with me. I am not in this alone. I have a whole community, a family on this Night Watch schedule who are willing to stand beside me in prayer and fight with me. In return, I too pray for them and stand with them in times of need.
Even in the middle of writing this, some peers of mine gathered around me to pray for me and the Holy Spirit was just so tender with me and I even felt the joy of the Lord once again. I felt Him so near to me and those feelings are still on me. My toes still hurt, but He is so good and faithful!
Psalm 23
I shall not want.
2 He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.
3 He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake.
4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
My cup runs over.
6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life;
Forever.
The Lord is my shepherd and He really does lead me so perfectly. His leadership is perfect and He is so gentle and kind and merciful in revealing these things to me.
I pray that you, my friends, family, and perhaps even strangers, will be encouraged as you read this blog and update on my life. I pray that the God of all hope may give you hope and reveal Himself to you more and more in dreams, visions, etc.
Much love and blessings to you,
~Emily J
p.s. don’t forget to email, text, call, facebook, (etc) me with any prayer requests, praise reports, and updates on your lives. J
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Fear of the Lord
This year God has done so much, not only in my heart, but in every area of my life! He was not joking in the least when He told me '2011 will be a year of Great Change!' I never could have imagined what all was going to happen but I knew He was serious about it.
I remember journaling at the beginning of this year and literally every day there would be something proving His Word to me! That has not changed! It is now September 1st and He is still doing Great change in me and my life! He has answered numerous prayers, told me many things, and blessed me abundantly! I am so grateful for all He's done and is doing and is going to do still! This whole year has been a love/hate relationship with change, but looking back on just the past 9 months I would not trade it for anything! All the pain, all the joy, all the hurt, all the healing, nothing would be better.
The Fear of the Lord has especially been a key subject this year, individually and corporately (here at IHOP-KC...check out the John Mulinde visit: http://www.ihop.org/Publisher/Article.aspx?ID=1000096973). Another 'wave' of His Spirit is coming, and no idea what exactly it might look like, but it is coming.
A prayer that I have been crying this year is for the Holy Spirit to release the Fear of the Lord on me and this community and everyone. This verse is the prayer and cry of my heart: Proverbs 1:7 "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline." (Well, to be honest, I pray revelation and all of Proverbs, but specifically this verse:))
In about 10 days I will be driving up to Iowa to meet up with my parents for lunch and then we're trading cars! Praise the Lord! :) Please pray for safe travels, and grace to wake up early.
In faith I pray this over you... I "do not cease to give thanks for you, making mention of you in my prayers: that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him, the eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that you may know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, and what is the exceeding greatness of His power toward us who believe, according to the working of His mighty power which He worked in Christ when He raised Him from the dead and seated Him at His right hand in the heavenly places, far above all principality and power and might and dominion, and every name that is named, not only in this age but also in that which is to come. And He put all things under His feet, and gave Him to be head over all things to the church, which is His body, the fullness of Him who fills all in all." (Eph. 1:16-22)
~Emily :)
I remember journaling at the beginning of this year and literally every day there would be something proving His Word to me! That has not changed! It is now September 1st and He is still doing Great change in me and my life! He has answered numerous prayers, told me many things, and blessed me abundantly! I am so grateful for all He's done and is doing and is going to do still! This whole year has been a love/hate relationship with change, but looking back on just the past 9 months I would not trade it for anything! All the pain, all the joy, all the hurt, all the healing, nothing would be better.
The Fear of the Lord has especially been a key subject this year, individually and corporately (here at IHOP-KC...check out the John Mulinde visit: http://www.ihop.org/Publisher/Article.aspx?ID=1000096973). Another 'wave' of His Spirit is coming, and no idea what exactly it might look like, but it is coming.
A prayer that I have been crying this year is for the Holy Spirit to release the Fear of the Lord on me and this community and everyone. This verse is the prayer and cry of my heart: Proverbs 1:7 "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline." (Well, to be honest, I pray revelation and all of Proverbs, but specifically this verse:))
In about 10 days I will be driving up to Iowa to meet up with my parents for lunch and then we're trading cars! Praise the Lord! :) Please pray for safe travels, and grace to wake up early.
In faith I pray this over you... I "do not cease to give thanks for you, making mention of you in my prayers: that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him, the eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that you may know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, and what is the exceeding greatness of His power toward us who believe, according to the working of His mighty power which He worked in Christ when He raised Him from the dead and seated Him at His right hand in the heavenly places, far above all principality and power and might and dominion, and every name that is named, not only in this age but also in that which is to come. And He put all things under His feet, and gave Him to be head over all things to the church, which is His body, the fullness of Him who fills all in all." (Eph. 1:16-22)
~Emily :)
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