My Pride and His Merciful Kindness

Wow, this past week has been quite the painful adventure!  Last Monday, in a rush to make it on time to a meeting, I slipped and caught my toes in the straps of my flip flops.  I had to leave right after the meeting to head home to get my special ‘uni-shoe’ (post-op shoe from a previous broken toe incident).  Both feet were hurting but I only had one ‘uni-shoe’.  So, for the next few days I was limping around in a lot of pain and receiving tons of prayer.  By Friday, I finally decided to go to urgent care (only place that was open) and they x-rayed both feet, only to find a fracture in the least painful toe (one that I had broken a few years ago, hence my possession of a post-op shoe).  The doctor was not sure if it was a recent one or older one. 

*Toes actually never heal, and so I never got rid of the ‘uni-shoe’ because I never knew if ever I might need it again; am I ever grateful I kept it!  The only thing to do with a toe injury (ie: break, fracture, sprain, etc) is to rest it, ice it, elevate it, confine it, and take anti-inflammatory medicine. 

After the x-rays, they gave me another ‘uni-shoe’.  My old one was a plain, black one with two Velcro straps.  My new one is blue and black, with two (easier-to-adjust) Velcro straps and is not as flat on the sole.  So now, I walk around with two different color shoes and mismatched socks (which I normally did).  I feel like such a trendsetter!  So, if ever you come across a person wearing different color/types of shoes and socks, think of me, I started the trend! J

Anyway, after still walking around in a lot of pain and elevating my feet whenever possible, I finally agreed to receive more help by borrowing a wheelchair at the prayer room.  I have to admit now after having it for a few days and after being in pain walking around like I was that the wheelchair helps tremendously!  It was awkward and a bit embarrassing at first, but now I have come to very much appreciate it and love figuring out how to get around. 

Pride has really risen up in me as well throughout this past week.  I have to ask for help to do some simple things and it was really annoying having so many people noticing my pain and asking to pray for me.  I have always had this fear/anxiety of people thinking I am faking any pain or sickness, so this experience has been humbling, no less.  I appreciate the prayer, but the looks of pity drove me nuts.  Just today I have gotten breakthrough in my attitude.  When I finally surrendered and accepted help, a big burden was lifted off of me.  I cannot do this alone; I need to rely on others.  God did not create me to be alone, and since that is what I have been feeling since school started, I am actually thanking Him for this little affliction because it has caused me to realize that I am not alone, people are more than willing to help, and pray with me.  I am not in this alone.  I have a whole community, a family on this Night Watch schedule who are willing to stand beside me in prayer and fight with me.  In return, I too pray for them and stand with them in times of need. 

Even in the middle of writing this, some peers of mine gathered around me to pray for me and the Holy Spirit was just so tender with me and I even felt the joy of the Lord once again.  I felt Him so near to me and those feelings are still on me.  My toes still hurt, but He is so good and faithful! 

Psalm 23

1 The LORD is my shepherd;

​​I shall not want.

2 ​​He makes me to lie down in green pastures;

​​He leads me beside the still waters.

3 ​​He restores my soul;

​​He leads me in the paths of righteousness

​​For His name’s sake.

4 ​​Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

​​I will fear no evil;

​​For You are with me;

​​Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

5 ​​You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;

​​You anoint my head with oil;

​​My cup runs over.

6 ​​Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me

​​All the days of my life;

​​And I will dwell in the house of the LORD

​​Forever.

The Lord is my shepherd and He really does lead me so perfectly.  His leadership is perfect and He is so gentle and kind and merciful in revealing these things to me.

I pray that you, my friends, family, and perhaps even strangers, will be encouraged as you read this blog and update on my life.  I pray that the God of all hope may give you hope and reveal Himself to you more and more in dreams, visions, etc. 

Much love and blessings to you,

~Emily J

p.s. don’t forget to email, text, call, facebook, (etc) me with any prayer requests, praise reports, and updates on your lives.  J